‘In the middle of the road of my life
I awoke in a dark wood
where the true way was wholly lost.’
~Dante
It has been many years since I last shared a public post in this space. Much has happened since that time; a return to school for my R.N., embarking on a new career in private duty nursing followed by Home Health nursing, and working through covid isolation. And now I find myself once again in a very turbulent and chaotic world that has left me feeling a bit lost. In the midst of this turbulence, I have been reminded of things I have shared in the past. One such poem came to mind from David Wagoner called Lost.
LOST
Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes behind you are not lost. Wherever you are is called HERE, and you must treat is as a powerful stranger, must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers, I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here. No two trees are the same to raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, you are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you.
~David Wagoner
************************************************************************************************************
I find myself here once again in this forest. Lost. So, I’ve been standing still.
Listening.
Listening to the cries of the world that echo those of my own heart. Listening to the cries of a world caught in the midst of terror, anger, rage, fear, and despair. The cries of those in immense pain and anguish over so much loss and destruction. Listening and watching intently for a ray of hope in the midst of this darkness; a measure of peace in the midst of this mighty storm.
Current events also brought to my mind and memory another brief poem written by a friend who filmed one of the survivors of the Holocaust titled, ‘From Unimaginable Depths‘.
From the unimaginable depths
of human darkness
exists an almost
unintelligible
shard of light.
So vague that it
might remain unseen.
But it’s from such a shard
that hope is born.
And from hope, possibility.
***********************************************************************************************************
As I heard these cries in the world, I also stumbled upon the sounds of other cries of modern artists that reminded me of the cries of the earth herself; more ancient and primordial, such as the following piece by Eivør Pálsdóttir:Tròdlabùndin. And Earth Melodies – Awakening by Ekaterina Shelehova. When I found them, I listened to both over and over again because they resonated with something deep inside of me. Even though the first is sung in a language I don’t understand, I didn’t have to know the language to feel the meaning and longing in the words and in the sound of her voice as it carried across the waters and landscape that surrounded her.
************************************************************************************************************
Through these artists, I can feel as if the earth is calling to each of us to wake up before it is too late. To hearken back to her that has so generously given us this home to dwell on for a time.
*****
Learning to Cultivate Inner Peace
*****
As I have been listening, watching intently, and waiting for these shards of hope and possibilities to make their way known; to become more visible and conscious in my world, I have also taken time to notice what is bubbling up to the surface for me. A myriad of genuine needs has surfaced, and one such need is to learn to cultivate inner peace when I feel surrounded by a world in chaos and what feels/seems very dangerous and unsafe right now. In childhood, I learned to cope by dissociating when faced with violence and unsafe situations that I was not able to physically escape from. So, I learned how to basically separate my mind from my body and travel elsewhere in order to create some distance between what was causing pain and suffering in the moment. However, as an adult, there is a price to pay from this kind of dissociating. I lose the ability to be genuinely present in my body; and this ultimately creates a disconnect between my mind and body.
*****
It is Time to Reconnect Mind and Body
*****
Fortunately, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Again! Several years ago, I stumbled upon a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk named Thich Nhat Hahn. He is the one who initially taught me how to focus on my breath in order to become more present in my body. I also learned about the concept of mindfulness from him and what it means to be present in the here and now. Of note, I am using the word ‘learned‘ in the most superficial and intellectual capacity; I have not yet learned either of these concepts to the point of mastery. Right now, I still feel like a baby as I have taken the time to go back to basics and review how to breathe again and to be more present and mindful as a way of not escaping or running away from my own body.
*****
CULTIVATING GRATITUDE
*****
Last weekend, I also took some time to list all of the teachers that have made a difference in my life and what they taught me. I am glad I did this because I was able to generate such gratitude and appreciation that I was brought to tears in the remembrance.
Right now, I am paying more attention to not only what is going on around me, but what is going on inside of me and my reaction to this outer world. As I am guided to just what it is that I need, I am also gravitating to people and teachers that may be in alignment in helping me cultivate new tools and skills that have been lacking or need to be relearned again.
I’m not a Buddhist but I do resonate with some of the methods and teachings I have learned about. In addition to relearning how to breathe and focus on my breath as a form of meditation, I also learned about what Thich Nhat Hahn called the 14 Mindfulness Trainings that I periodically read as a guide. You do not have to be a Buddhist to learn from these trainings, nor do you need to be affiliated with any religion at all. For me, the very first mindfulness training on openness made a huge impact on me.
The First Mindfulness Training: Openness
Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, we are determined not to be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. We are committed to seeing the Buddhist teachings as a guiding means that help us learn to look deeply and develop understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill, or die for. We understand that fanaticism in its many forms is the result of perceiving things in a dualistic or discriminative manner. We will train ourselves to look at everything with openness and the insight of interbeing in order to transform dogmatism and violence in ourselves and the world.
**************************************************************************************************
When I first read it many years ago, it resonated within me, and I have used it as a guide ever since. Even when I have been involved and engaged with various religious organizations and activities over the years. I wanted to share this one with the world because I really feel that it is important to share at this time for those who are ready to receive it.
Until next time…. peace and grace to all who read this.
*****
Food for Thought
*****
- What have you been experiencing in your own life in light of current events?
- What feelings/emotions have been causing you trouble in reaction to what is going on in the world right now?
- How have you been coping with these feelings?
- What have you found to be helpful when dealing with strong emotions right now?
- What practices or methods from various traditions and philosophies in the world have helped you the most?
- What is one change you want to make in your life right now that would not only be of benefit to you but to those around you?
*********************************************************
SERENDIPITY
**********
Shortly after publishing this post, I was led to the following video from Shi Heng Yi, a Shaolin monk based at the Shaolin Temple in Germany.
HIGHLIGHTS
- What is in your field of possibilities and what is your destiny at the same time?
- Cultivate awareness: Take a step back and notice what ideas come from you or do they come from the outside?
- Notice internal triggers.
- Importance of having close friends, a brotherhood/sisterhood, a community where there is resonance between you.
- Everything that is unknown to you are also possibilities.
- Sometimes people need additional support from the outside. Find those you resonate with.
- Keep that spark inside of you.
- Resonating means getting into the same frequency with something.
- Discomfort means you are reaching a borderline; you are reaching a limit that up until now you have not crossed often enough.
- Cross your own limits from time to time or else you will remain stuck in your own limited view.
- It is uncomfortable because you don’t know the outcome of what is going to happen if you cross that line.
- There is only one way to make uncertainty become knowledge, and that is from experience.
- After you do it, then you will know.
- Barriers can only be broken when intellectual knowledge starts to transform into action, and that action is going to bring you the answer.
- Experience gives you what you need in order to move on.
- Once you feel that spark, that small fire needs to be nourished in order for it to grow.
- Too much self-doubt is one of the hindrances that will diminish that fire.
- Once the fire is going, stop questioning why it won’t work.
- Have confidence in the power of your thoughts.
- Once it’s in the mind already, it can become possible if you find the way to translate what is in the mind, into action.
- This transformation makes things come to earth.
Additional Resources
- Soul Biographies
- Light in the Darkness – a short film by Nic Askew
- The Only Life You Could Save by Dan Oestreich
- Plum Village
- 14 Mindfulness Trainings
- The Art of Mindful Living
- The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hahn
- Shi Heng Yi Online Website
